B104 Seeing reality as it is

 If there is one book i would strongly recommend everyone read it has to be " Mindfulness in plain english " written by Bhante gunaratana a buddhist monk 26 years back .

As the title suggests it is written in a manner that helps us comprehend and start experiencing reality as it is.

Each page removes our illusions . A snippet from page 68

As you observe the inflow and outflow of your breath, " eventually the breathing process will move along its own stream and you will feel no impluse to manipulate it. At this point you will learn a major lesson about your own compulsive need to control the universe "

Truly a masterpiece !

B101 Perseverance

 Perseverance- "Our ability to give our best every moment despite knowing there would be difficulties and delay in achieving our goals.

In president Barack Obama's words from his latest book " A Promised land"
I realized that for all the power inherent in the seat I now occupied, there would always be a chasm between what I knew should be done to achieve a better world and what in a day, week, or year I found myself actually able to accomplish "

Clearly an epitome of perseverence , the book stands out in the presidents openness to lay bare his thoughts , his self doubts. Inspiring read on many counts

!

B99 But persist we must ..

 To truly create inclusive and diverse societies and organisations we need to consciously work on our ability as individuals and groups, to listen , appreciate and integrate diverse perspectives as well as worldviews. Including the ones divergent from ours .

In this process of creating and learning we are bound to experience an enviornment of conflict at multiple levels which can lead to ourselves sometimes questioning the wisdom and the price that we are paying for inclusion and diversity.

But persist we must....because that's that only way forward to overcome barriers that are both internal and external to us.

B98 "Be open to inspiration but for sure create your own path step by step"

 A couple of days back i was at my desk deep in thought on how best to guide a client improve customer experience in his single store retail organisation, and the book " Fish Sticks " stared at me from my book shelf inviting me to relook at it. .

Though its predecessor "Fish !" is more well rated by many readers , i find the sequel " Fish Sticks " addressing the more difficult challenge of making change stick .

While it contains some deep practical insights , one line that is worth remembering is a quote in it from Joseph campbell

" Your path is created in the moments of action . If you see it laid out in front of you , step 1 , 2, 3 ..you can be sure its someone elses path . Thats why you see it so clearly "

"So while we should all be open to taking advise and any inspiration from observing other organisations and people, when it comes to action , do not borrow someone elses to do list .
Instead take your own first step !! "

B97 Facilitators Be-Aware

 Here are a few things that I keep reminding myself every time i am engaged to align people towards common goals and resolve differences.

1. The process is not about me . Its about the group that i am enabling and the outcomes they are trying to achieve .

2. I have been engaged not because the people are individually incompetent , but to help them achieve some outcomes collectively.

3. Being aware of the multiple hats i wear as i design and steer the process ; The facilitator, advisor , the subject matter expert ( especially in areas when i have expertise )

4. Being sensitive to the spoken and the unspoken , including my own biases and feelings.

5. Every session/interraction is a new one. Do not be wedded to a pre-set process. As they say in cricket "Take a fresh guard "

Staying conscious of these enhances my probability of creating the desired impact and outcome. Might just enhance yours too !

B96 What you fear is never as bad as what you imagine

 Work on looking at your fears directly,calmly, clearly ,trying to visualise it and you will begin to resonate with the following two lines from the book " Who moved my cheese "

"What you fear is never as bad as what you imagine . The fear you build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists "

You will then clearly see that while fear needs to be respected, its the INFLATED fear that is holding us back from experimenting,trying something different, something new " and then our journey towards freedom from our imagined fears would have truly begun.

Keep doing this every time you feel the tightening in your gut and then like everything else in life , with repeated practise you will slowly get better at recognising and handling your fears too.

B93 Viewing issues through your lenses

 People viewing issues through their lenses ( In this case labelling and seeing one a global monopoly trying to be the big daddy who does as he pleases, vs the other being seen as someone who is trying to challenge the giant and organise others against it) will make an already difficult and complex issue that much more challenging to resolve .

Hope they realise whats at stake and resolve it without any further escalation for the benefit of all the players ,
· Google which has been trying to do so much in India in the last 18-24 months
· The Indian tech ecosystem and its innovators
· And the millions of Indian tech customers and professionals

B92 Be honest with your inner struggles

 Gandhi Ji's reliance on truth extended to his battles with his weaknesses, inner doubts, failings which are well documented in his own words .

Through this he demonstrated to the world that no challenge or goal is insurmountable however strong and powerful the opposing forces be if you are honest with your own inner struggles.

My gratitude as the world and we indians celebrate his 151st birthday.

B91 Who should we reach out to for advice and guidance?

 We all turn to someone for advice and guidance when we are faced with dilemmas and challenged with difficult choices both in our professional and personal lives.

While trust and the belief that the person will be guided by our welfare plays a huge role in the choice of that individual, one question that sometimes gets missed out is “ Does that person actually practise and live whatever he professes”

There is a big difference between knowing what the right choices are and actually living them.

Remember this and you will for sure make the right choice

B90 When you are unhappy with your response

 What do you do when you are unhappy with one or more of your own answers to a potential client team during an exploratory discussion.

Drop them a message after reflection on what should have been the appropriate response.

It helps you stop worrying about your mistakes and knowing that you have done the right thing and put your best foot forward . ( My learnings from a recent interraction )

And it just might help the client see your genuineness of intent and purpose.

Come to think of it, this learning can be applied to any interaction !

B89 The observer impacts the observed ..

 While philosophers have talked about it and physics has demonstrated it , i find it extremely important to keep this in mind when i work with individuals and groups in trying to address differences and conflicts or help them effect change.

For all our attempts at being objective, non judgemental and trying to stay detached , we become as much of "actors " as the other stakeholders even if we are engaged to purely facilitate .

Our needs , biases, lenses, feelings and emotional responses , even our mere presence ,significantly influences the person , the group , the process and the outcome .

Awareness and agility helps.

B88 Trust youself to Rebuild Trust

 Trust youself to Rebuild Trust

A conversation yesterday made me reflect.

There are times when we feel we have let down some one, a partner, a friend, colleagues , a superior or subordinate a customer,a client . At times we do so in awareness (Sure we might have our own reasons).

And we react in different ways too. Some wallow in guilt, a few others shy away from further interactions, others behave as if nothing has happened.

Irrespective of how the impacted person reacts or we act one thing is certain, “There has been an erosion of trust “.

A few things we can and should do to slowly rebuild trust.

- Acknowledge that trust has eroded and evoked negative feelings in others.
- Accept the real world consequences that people are left to deal with as a result of our actions.
- Listen when they react, vent out. Try not to speak in your defence. Difficult but necessary for healing. There will be a time and place for you to talk.
- Take the first step to mend the fence: Actions are all that matter .
- Learn to make promises that you intend to keep.

And importantly forgive yourself and remember that consistently honoured commitments help slowly repair and rebuilt #trust .

Trust yourself on this one!

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/mpsriram_trust-people-performance-activity-6709299443692388352-yT6M

B87 Try the path of least resistance

I have found this technique to be very useful when working with groups and getting people with diverse views to come to a common ground.

Step 1: Get everyone to articulate their position clearly

Step 2: As the chair/facilitator identify the key issues, decision points and factors that each participant considers significant including the objectives they want to achieve.

Step 3: Segregate the issues on the basis on level of agreement

Step 4: Start with the issue where there is least resistance or disagreement.
There could be a disagreement on the very objective(s) they are trying to achieve. Follow step 1-4 here too.

Step 5: Move onto to the next issue of least resistance only after you ensure every single member has voiced his/her agreement clearly.

As you follow this process, it could sometimes feel like you are going around in circles. Accept this as issues are interconnected.

I have through experience learned that the probability of making visible progress, ensuring buy in and ultimate resolution increases significantly when you follow this path and process.

Try it. You just might be surprised and thank me!!